iswearimnotnaked:

my brother left his drink at taco bell and was like “where’s my baja blast?” and my sister just quietly whispers “in the baja past”

It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.L.R. Knost (via dailydoseofstuf)

youredarrenfreakingpotter:

My dad would tell me that when we were little and people would say to him “wow, four daughters, that’s a lot of weddings to pay for” (because traditionally the bride’s family would pay for the wedding), my dad would respond with “well, we’re hoping at least one of them will be gay so we can split the cost with the other bride’s family”
He said people never knew how to respond


D....D...
Daddy!?
Doug DimmaDome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome !

saltedick:

getting called ugly by ugly people is so surreal 

(Source: saltedick)

Claiming there is no other life in the universe is like scooping up some water, looking at the cup and claiming there are no whales in the ocean.Neil deGrasse Tyson in response to “Aliens can’t exist because we haven’t found them yet” (via weedbrain)

(Source: unusual-entities)


lanashiftdelrey:

coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents

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